The Bots and the Bees

Photo of a bumblebee on purple coleus flowers.

This year, against popular advice (read: stuff I’ve read on the internet) I didn’t pinch back the blooms on my coleus plants. Toward the end of the summer little buds appear which turn into stalks of little purple flowers. According to the internet, you should pinch back these buds if you don’t want your plant to get leggy. This year, I wanted to see what would happen if I just let the flowers bloom. From what I can tell, the bees appreciated this. I like the flowers too, and so far I haven’t noticed any legginess. So, make of that what you will.

Soon it will be time to take some cuttings from the coleus plants on the patio so that I can keep them alive through the winter in little planters indoors. I’m still working with the descendants of the original plants that I bought years ago. If you’re looking for easy, forgiving plants that grow nicely in planters in slightly shady spots, I highly recommend coleus. I wouldn’t say it’s foolproof, but it’s pretty close.

It is not, however deer proof. I know this because I do have a big planter full of coleus that’s closer to the edge of the patio. There is a half wall between that part of the patio and the yard, so I thought it would be safe from the deer, but nope they must have reached all the way over the wall and chomped it up, that or they possibly were especially brazen and walked onto the patio. I’m not sure, but I do know that I moved that planter six or so inches further from the wall, and it rebounded very nicely. So, yeah they really are pretty easy plants.

Photo of a large coleus plant in a green ceramic planter. — Here’s the Coleus plant that got chomped a couple of months ago, after rebounding. It’s hard to believe this big, giant plant started out as a little cutting kept alive over the winter in a tiny teacup sized planter.

At least the bees have the coleus flowers because nothing else is blooming on our patio. The full-sun planters that I filled with “deer resistant” plants have been repeatedly ravaged by the deer. So there’s nothing left but some sad chewed up remains, and some weeds that I don’t even bother to pull any more because what would be the point.

The bees like my flowers, and the bots like my books if the emails I receive can be believed. Well, technically the emails purport to be from real people. Upon Googling I find that they are authors I’m not familiar with. I’ve heard that other authors have received emails supposedly from very famous authors. I’m guessing none of these authors are aware that their names are being used to send out these emails pitching marketing services to other authors. I have to assume that this is a robot-fueled scam.

I’ve received a few of these emails, some have been inundated with way more. They all follow the same general formula. They say they read my book and really enjoyed it. Then they go on to tell me what they loved about the book, in language that sounds familiar. On closer inspection, the bot is simply taking the description of the book that I have written and have posted on my website and various book-selling sites and given it back to me with some words changed and rearranged so that the plagiarism isn’t so obvious.

It’s how some lazier students used to write their book reports back in the day, and in fact the style of writing used in these spam messages reminds me a lot of how a student who has very little to say and a term paper assignment with a minimum page count would go about writing an essay. The emails go on to vaguely suggest a marketing plan name-dropping what are apparently big time bookstagrammers or something. I don’t know. I admit to being clueless about all that, which is probably one of the reasons I’m not a big name author. Even, if I was interested in suddenly launching a new marketing campaign for a book that came out seven years ago, this poorly written email wouldn’t convince me to enlist the help of this bot in my efforts.

If you too are receiving strange emails or are coming across writing elsewhere on the internet, that doesn’t feel quite right, but aren’t sure if it’s a bot or not, might I suggest this very helpful and thorough guide over at Wikipedia to help identify AI generated writing from the real deal.

And if spam and technology and the very existence of something called a bookstagrammer fills you with existential dread might I suggest following the example of the bees on the patio and going outside and smelling some flowers.

— Alissa